SEATTLE (SATIRE) — After meticulously documenting Cybertruck sightings across Seattle and Austin for the past two years, local reporter Marcus Jennings has finally observed what experts are calling a "statistical anomaly" — a woman inside one of Tesla's polarizing vehicles.

Jennings, who has been compiling a detailed spreadsheet of Cybertruck sightings since their public release, documented exactly 864 distinct Cybertrucks exclusively driven by men before witnessing 37-year-old software engineer Jennifer Patton in the passenger seat of the 865th vehicle.

"I've been watching Cybertrucks every day in the tech-heavy corridors of Seattle and during my trips to Austin," Jennings told FAKE-NEWS.VIP. "I was beginning to think the vehicles had some kind of biological recognition system that only allowed men to approach them."

Patton, who was riding alongside her boyfriend in the stainless steel vehicle, was unaware of her groundbreaking achievement until approached by our reporter at a charging station.

"Wait, I'm the first?" Patton said, visibly confused. "But these things have been everywhere for months. That can't be right."

When shown Jennings' extensive documentation, including timestamps, locations, and driver descriptions, Patton expressed disbelief at being the first woman to be spotted in the angular vehicle.

"I don't even like the Cybertruck," she admitted. "Tyler bought it last week, and this is my first time riding in it. The edges are too sharp, and I need a stepladder to climb in. Plus, it's like riding inside a refrigerator that's been dented by a baseball bat."

Despite her criticism, Patton theorized that her inadvertent milestone might attract attention from Tesla CEO Elon Musk.

"Knowing how Elon operates on social media, he'll probably contact me for some PR stunt," she said. "Maybe they'll create a special 'female-friendly' Cybertruck with pink interior accents and compartments specifically designed for purses."

Tesla representatives declined to comment on the gender disparity among Cybertruck occupants but noted that the company "welcomes all demographic groups to experience our revolutionary vehicle design."

Marketing experts suggest that Tesla may need to reconsider its approach if it hopes to attract more diverse buyers.

"The Cybertruck has successfully captured the 'tech bro' and 'apocalypse prepper' demographics," said consumer analyst Rachel Winters. "But our research indicates that most women prefer vehicles that don't look like they were designed by a 12-year-old boy who exclusively plays Halo and watches 'Mad Max' movies."

As for Jennings, he plans to continue his documentation project with renewed vigor.

"Now I'm curious about the second woman who'll be spotted in a Cybertruck," he said. "Though at this rate, we might be looking at another 800 men before that happens."