MAR-A-LAGO, FL (SATIRE) — Former President Donald Trump denounced the 1985 film "Rocky IV" as "very pro-Ukrainian" and "filled with DEI garbage" after viewing the boxing classic during a private screening arranged by conservative activist Laura Loomer. Following the screening, Trump reportedly decided to "immediately terminate" Sylvester Stallone from his role as Special Ambassador to Hollywood.

According to sources speaking on condition of anonymity who were present at the screening, Loomer orchestrated the viewing as part of her ongoing campaign to "identify and remove disloyal elements" from Trump's inner circle, similar to her reported role in pushing for the removal of several generals from military leadership positions.

"This movie is a disaster. Just a complete disaster," Trump allegedly told attendees while gesturing at the screen during Ivan Drago's defeat. "Rocky is fighting for Ukraine against Russia. It's so obvious what they were doing, even back then. Very unfair to Russia. Very, very unfair. And Sly was behind it all!"

Multiple sources claim Trump became visibly agitated during scenes featuring Carl Weathers as Apollo Creed, a character he reportedly referred to as "forced diversity decades before the woke mob even existed," while Loomer repeatedly whispered in his ear about Stallone's "compromised loyalties."

Loomer, who presented the screening as part of what she calls her "Hollywood Accountability Project," reportedly provided Trump with a 37-page dossier outlining how Stallone has been "undermining MAGA values from within" since his appointment as Special Ambassador to Hollywood last year. The document allegedly compared Stallone's role to "deep state generals who must be purged."

"Stallone must go. He must go immediately," Trump allegedly stated during a post-screening discussion. "He told me he loved Russia, but he made this anti-Russian propaganda? Apollo Creed should have been the bad guy, but they made him Rocky's friend because of DEI. It's DEI gone wild, even in the 80s!"

"I made a very big mistake appointing Sly. Very big mistake. Loomer showed me the truth. Just like she showed me about those generals—they're all gone now. All gone. Stallone is next. When you're disloyal, you're fired. That's how it works," Trump reportedly told the small gathering while eating ice cream.

When one attendee reportedly pointed out that the film was actually pro-American and released during the Cold War, Trump dismissed these facts as "fake news from the radical left" and praised Loomer for "exposing another traitor in our midst."

Sources close to the former president claim Trump has now drafted a formal termination letter for Stallone's ambassadorship, citing "anti-Russian bias" and "historical DEI activism" as grounds for immediate removal. The letter reportedly contains a hand-written note from Trump reading "You're no longer Special!"

At press time, Loomer was reportedly organizing a follow-up screening of "Rambo III" to further solidify her case against Stallone, while also compiling a list of other "anti-MAGA Hollywood infiltrators" for Trump to review, starting with Tom Hanks for his role in "The Post."