WASHINGTON, DC (SATIRE) — In what economists are calling "the most literal interpretation of trade policy in American history," former President Donald Trump hosted a lavish "Tariff Feast" yesterday, inviting America's top 50 CEOs to the White House to literally consume edible representations of their companies' import tariffs.

The unprecedented dinner, held in the State Dining Room, featured customized dishes symbolizing each company's overseas production and associated tariff burdens, with executives required to clean their plates before being allowed to discuss any future trade exemptions.

"Nobody knows tariffs better than me, believe me," Trump reportedly told the assembled executives while wearing a custom golden chef's hat. "And today, you're all going to taste what it means to bring manufacturing back to America. The best manufacturing, the most beautiful manufacturing you've ever seen."

According to fictional sources present at the dinner, Apple CEO Tim Cook was served an extremely spicy vindaloo curry representing the company's Indian manufacturing operations, which he struggled to consume as Trump repeatedly chanted "Eat the tariff! Eat the tariff!"

Tesla's Elon Musk reportedly received a plate of raw Shanghai street food symbolizing his Chinese production facilities, while Amazon's Andy Jassy was presented with a towering mountain of international dishes so large it blocked his view of other guests.

Several CEOs were seen sweating profusely as Trump personally monitored their consumption, occasionally adding more food to plates he deemed "not tariffed enough."

"This is how we negotiate now," Trump explained while sprinkling extra hot sauce on a grimacing semiconductor executive's plate. "You want to build in Taiwan? Fine, but you're eating this ghost pepper. Many people are saying it's the fairest trade policy ever created."

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, visibly uncomfortable after finishing a dish labeled "Cloud Computing Tariff Special," was reportedly told he could reduce his next serving by 15% if he committed to building three new factories in Ohio.

White House staff, speaking entirely fictitiously, expressed concern about the event. "We've never seen diplomacy conducted quite like this before," whispered one fictional aide. "The Secretary of Commerce is just standing in the corner with a ladle making sure nobody tries to hide food in their napkins."

Medical staff were on standby throughout the meal, treating at least three executives for indigestion and one for what doctors described as "acute tariff toxicity."

At press time, several CEOs were reportedly drafting plans to immediately relocate their manufacturing operations to American soil, with one anonymous executive telling reporters, "I'd rather build a factory in every state than go through another dinner like that."